rustbelter

dceiver:

placesweusedtogo:

reviewofmycat:

Stephen Meowlkmus

Ally

Appearance: A

Stephen has a very cute face overall. His eyes are cartoonishly large, which makes people generally want to stare at him, and he has good patterns to his fur - very clearly defined spots and stripes with a nice mix of tabby colors. He is also quite small for an adult cat, which makes him especially cute as it is much easier to pretend he is still a kitten, owing to his tiny stature.

Sociability: D

Basically, this cat just hides under the damn bed if even 2 people show up in the house, which is ironic because his overall absurd cuteness means people really wish he wouldn’t do this and are willing to offer him a lot of pets and treats not to behave like this but what can you do. He is only getting an above failing score because he really, really likes hanging out with my boyfriend and with our other cat.

Usefulness: D

Stephen tries to be useful by catching bugs. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure a good portion of those bugs were imaginary. He is also very useful as an alarm clock, if you need an alarm clock to alert you that it is now 7pm and it is time to feed the cat.

Huggability: B

He is fuzzy and soft and tiny and very adorable and therefore very, very huggable. Unfortunately, he basically hates being hugged; fortunately, he is way too tiny to do anything about getting hugged.

Overall Grade: C+

My cat sucks.

Not as much as Snack Cake, apparently.

David Bercat did it first. Then Stephen got some other friends, and took all the credit.